Wednesday, March 19, 2008
The way I look at this blog is like it is a live acoustic concert in a small venue. At this show, there are only close friends who took the time to show up. There isn't anything fancy, and even though most of the crowd knows all of the stories, they still show up and stay when between songs the artist tells how the song was made, or little bits of their life. There aren't any record deals on the line, and no money is being made.
That's how I feel about this blog, it's just a select few really viewing it, I've pretty much always said as much. Growing up, I don't think many people have expected much from me. At school, I worked harder than anyone, but my friends always got the accolades. I've grown accustomed to it, and maybe it's a little easier to grow when people don't expect you to do great things. For years I tried to find a way to get people to notice me, and it actually just made me more frustrated. When I stopped caring, and started doing my own thing, people actually came to me with work. But the work was never good, and the pay was rarely there. I thought in lieu of payment maybe I'd at least be getting recognition, respect, but that wasn't there either. I've learned to expect very little from this business, because it gives you little.
Of the people I meet, maybe 1 in every 50 or more is a true, genuine person. I've had a lot of horrible dealings with people who just took from me, there are few mutual friendships that I have built, and over the years some of the friendships that I have built have deteriorated as people move to the next step in the food chain. However, at this blog, I feel good, I can do what I enjoy without any expectations, and I know that the people viewing it are friends.